There are definatley signs when a relationship is comming to an end. The problem is we just do not want to see them. When we are in the middle of the drama of a failing relationshpe we tend to put our blinders on and get caught up in the poor me saga. Letting go of a long term relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Change can be a scary event for most people. Even small changes freak some people out much less ending a long term relationship. People are so used to that person being in thier lives that they cannot imagine what it would be like if they were not there anymore. Even if the relationship is unpleasant. What would they do, who would love them? Now I am going to have to say that you should love yourself first before you even get into a relationship.
Some of the signs that the relationship is over can be pretty obvious.
If you dread the time you spend at home or with your spouse that is a pretty good indication that there is a serious problem.
If you are not making love anymore you, are just having sex because you feel it is your responsibility or so you do not want your spouse to think something is wrong. This can also be because you like sex. Alot of people stay together longer if the sex is good.
When all you do is agrue about the stupidest little things. Arguing about things that are not important to anyone is a big indication of hidden resentments.
These are just a few obvious problems. Most people do not know how to express themselves and tell thier spouse when they are not happy. They are afraid of how they will react. If you are honest and non judgemental when expressing your feelings, your spouse should be understanding. If you really want to work things out instead of breaking off the relationship then you need to learn how to communicate to each other.
On the other hand if you do want to break off a relationship the process is the same. Be honest and non judgemental. Do not accuse or blame. Sometimes people just grow apart or the lack of communication builds up resentments and hurt feelings. Hurting someone's feelings is never easy to do. You however have to think about your feelings too. Do not live in a bad relationship just so you do not hurt someone else. That is not fair to either one of you. If you do not love your partner the way they deserve to be loved than you are stopping them from finding someone who will.
A lot of people may not agree with this post but it is my opinion and experience. I may not be a doctor or psycologist but I have had experience in long and short term relationships. I can go on and on on this subject but I want to keep this short.
Just remember to be honest with yourself and your partner. Sometimes things just do not work out. Know the signs, accept, and move on. It is really not the end of the world. Love yourself and you will find someone who truly loves you for who you are.
Debbie
Ematchusa
